Journal
Writing.
Thinking on mind, body and the practice of presence.
By Leah · 59 articles
The archive
21 entries
01/22 September·7 min read
Why Unfinished Things Keep You Awake
An unanswered email can follow you to bed. A psychologist noticed why in 1927, and later research found a surprisingly simple way to let it go.
02/21 September·7 min read
Stressed Is Not a Feeling
Most of us run our inner lives on about three words. Research on emotional granularity suggests a more precise vocabulary changes more than you would expect.
03/7 September·7 min read
Why Good Things Do Not Stay With You
The criticism from three years ago is still available in full detail. The compliment from Tuesday is already gone. That asymmetry is built in, and it is more workable than it looks.
04/31 August·8 min read
How to Choose a Counsellor in Melbourne (And What to Ask First)
05/30 August·7 min read
Numbness Is Not the Absence of Feeling
06/28 August·7 min read
Shame and Guilt Are Not the Same Thing
07/22 August·8 min read
What Therapy Actually Changes (And What It Does Not)
Therapy has good evidence behind it. It also has limits that do not get discussed enough, and knowing both gives you a more useful picture of what you are entering into.
08/19 August·6 min read
The Difference Between Coping and Healing
Coping keeps you functional. Healing changes the thing that required coping. Both matter, and knowing which you are doing, and which you need, is worth understanding.
09/15 August·6 min read
Why Vulnerability Feels Like a Threat
Opening up is not inherently safe, and your body knows it. The question is not how to override that response, but what it would take to shift the underlying calculation.
10/12 August·7 min read
The Part of You That Doesn't Want to Get Better
11/29 July·7 min read
Ego-Syntonic: The Word for a Problem That Feels Like Personality
12/28 July·6 min read
What If You Were Never Disconnected From Your Body?
13/27 July·8 min read
What Counselling Actually Costs in Melbourne, and What Medicare Does Not Cover
Nobody explains this clearly before you book. Here are the actual numbers, including the parts that do not favour me.
14/20 June·7 min read
You Were Raised to Manage Other People's Emotions
If you grew up feeling responsible for how the adults around you felt, something got reversed. That reversal does not stay in childhood. It follows you into every relationship you have as an adult.
15/18 June·6 min read
The Real Reason You Feel Anxious on a Good Day
You had a good day. Nothing went wrong. You felt almost okay for a while. And then, without warning, the anxiety came back. This is not a mystery. It is your nervous system doing something entirely predictable.
16/17 June·5 min read
Seven Signs It Might Be Time to Talk to Someone
17/15 June·6 min read
You're Not Lazy. You're in Freeze.
18/11 June·6 min read
The Quiet Grief Nobody Talks About
19/8 June·6 min read
Why Rest Does Not Feel Restful
You stopped. You sat down. You had nowhere to be. And instead of feeling better, you felt worse. This is not ingratitude or laziness. It is a nervous system that has forgotten how to come down.
20/4 June·7 min read
Why Telling Someone How You Feel Is So Hard
You know what you feel. You know what you want to say. And then the moment arrives and something closes. This is not a lack of nerve or poor communication. It is your nervous system protecting you from something it learned was dangerous.
21/28 May·6 min read
Your Overthinking Is Not a Problem With Your Mind
Overthinking is not a habit or a personality trait. It is what a nervous system does when it does not feel safe enough to stop scanning. Understanding that changes what you can actually do about it.
15 entries
22/21 July·5 min read
The Thing About Wanting to Change
Most people who want to change spend more energy judging themselves for not changing than actually changing. The research on behaviour change shows something more useful.
23/7 July·4 min read
Healing Is Not Linear
You had a good week. Then a bad one. Then you wondered whether any of it was working. This is not regression. It is how recovery actually works.
24/23 June·5 min read
The Cost of Never Asking for Help
Self-sufficiency is often worn as a point of pride. But the person who never asks for help is not strong. They are carrying everything alone, and the body eventually makes that cost very clear.
25/9 June·5 min read
What Your Anger Is Actually Trying to Tell You
26/26 May·4 min read
Why You Always Feel Like You Are Behind
27/12 May·4 min read
You Do Not Have to Earn Rest
28/28 April·4 min read
What Actually Happens When You Put Yourself First
If you have spent years prioritising everyone else, putting yourself first does not feel empowering. It feels wrong. This is one of the most important things to understand about the process.
29/14 April·4 min read
Why Sunday Nights Feel So Heavy
The week has not started yet. Nothing has gone wrong. And yet Sunday evening arrives with a familiar weight. Your nervous system has learned something about what Monday means.
30/31 March·5 min read
Your Body Keeps the Score: What That Actually Means
The phrase has become one of the most cited ideas in trauma work. But what does it actually mean in practice, and why does it matter for how you heal?
31/17 March·5 min read
Why the Same Argument Keeps Happening
32/3 March·5 min read
How to Actually Support Someone With Anxiety
33/17 February·4 min read
What Does Emotional Availability Actually Mean?
34/3 February·5 min read
Why You Keep Attracting the Same Kind of Person
If you keep ending up in relationships with the same dynamics, the same arguments, the same outcome, it is not a coincidence. It is a pattern, and patterns have a source.
35/20 January·4 min read
The Difference Between Loneliness and Being Alone
You can be surrounded by people and feel profoundly alone. You can be entirely by yourself and feel completely at ease. Loneliness is not about proximity.
36/6 January·5 min read
Five Things That Look Like Laziness But Are Not
Before you decide you are lazy, it is worth considering what else might be operating beneath the surface. Productivity culture has a way of misreading the nervous system.
23 entries
37/16 December·4 min read
Why Anxiety Is Often Worst in the Morning
If your anxiety peaks before the day has even started, there is a biological reason. It is not a sign of fragility. Your cortisol is doing something entirely predictable.
38/2 December·4 min read
The Myth of Closure
You have been waiting to feel closed about something. Maybe you are still waiting. Here is what closure actually is, and why the version most people are looking for does not exist.
39/18 November·5 min read
What No One Tells You About Starting Therapy
Most people spend months preparing to start therapy, worrying whether they are bad enough or whether they will know what to say. There is more useful information available.
40/4 November·5 min read
Why High Achievers Often Struggle the Most
41/21 October·5 min read
What Is Trauma? (And Do I Have It?)
42/7 October·7 min read
Counsellor, Psychologist or Psychiatrist: Which One Do You Need?
43/23 September·4 min read
What to Expect from Your First Counselling Session
Not knowing what to expect is one of the biggest reasons people delay seeking support. Here is an honest account of what a first session actually looks like.
44/9 September·5 min read
Burnout vs Depression: How to Tell the Difference
They can look similar from the outside, but burnout and depression are different experiences requiring different responses. Here is how to tell them apart.
45/26 August·5 min read
Understanding Anxiety: What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You
Anxiety is not a malfunction. It is your nervous system doing its job. Understanding what is happening physiologically can change your relationship with it entirely.
46/12 August·4 min read
Self Trust: How to Start Rebuilding It
47/29 July·6 min read
ACT: The Therapy That Asks You to Stop Fighting Your Thoughts
48/15 July·5 min read
What Is Nervous System Regulation and Why Does It Matter?
49/1 July·4 min read
Life Coaching vs Therapy: Which One Do You Actually Need?
The distinction matters. Coaching and therapy serve different purposes and work best at different moments. Here is a clear guide to help you choose.
50/17 June·5 min read
What Couples Counselling Actually Looks Like (And What It Can Change)
Many couples wait too long to seek help, or avoid it altogether because they are not sure what it involves. Here is an honest account of what happens in the room.
51/3 June·4 min read
Setting Boundaries Without the Guilt
Boundaries are not about closing people out. They are about knowing where you end and another person begins. Here is how to set them without the spiral of guilt that usually follows.
52/20 May·6 min read
Attachment Styles: Why Your Childhood Blueprint Still Runs Your Relationships
53/6 May·5 min read
The Grief That Has No Name: Understanding Ambiguous Loss
54/22 April·5 min read
Somatic Therapy: How the Body Holds and Heals Emotional Pain
55/8 April·4 min read
Why Life Transitions Feel So Hard (Even the Good Ones)
Transitions are not just about what changes on the outside. They require an internal shift that takes time, attention and often more support than we expect to give ourselves.
56/25 March·5 min read
The Inner Critic: What It Is and How to Stop Letting It Run Things
Most of us have a voice in our heads that is not particularly kind. Understanding what it is doing and where it came from changes how much power it has.
57/11 March·5 min read
Grief After a Relationship: Why Breakups Hit So Hard
The end of a significant relationship can produce grief as profound as any other loss. Understanding what is happening helps you move through it with more compassion for yourself.
58/26 February·4 min read
People-Pleasing Is Not a Personality Trait
59/12 February·5 min read
How Perfectionism Fuels Anxiety (And What to Do About It)
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