Journal
Writing.
Thinking on mind, body and the practice of presence.
By Leah · 69 articles
The archive
31 entries
01/11 October·7 min read
Why Walking Through a Doorway Makes You Forget
You stand in the kitchen with no idea why you came in. The reason is a filing system in the brain, and it also explains why work follows you home.
02/10 October·4 min read
Premarital Counselling Questions: Ask 4 to 6, Then Practice
A long list of premarital questions turns a talk into an exam. Why four to six, asked slowly, teach you more, and how to ask them so they work.
03/10 October·4 min read
Stop Rumination: A 90 Second Reset and a Measurable Plan
Rumination feels like problem-solving, but it is not. Why the loop keeps asking why, and a 90-second reset that helps you step out of it.
04/9 October·6 min read
Ego-Dystonic: Why Your Worst Thoughts Are Not Your Secret Self
05/9 October·6 min read
EMDR or Somatic Therapy? What the Difference Actually Is
06/9 October·6 min read
How to Choose a Life Coach in Melbourne, and What to Ask First
07/6 October·6 min read
Why the Ending Is the Part You Remember
A lovely dinner can be undone by the last ten minutes. Why memory keeps the peak and the ending, and how to use that kindly.
08/5 October·6 min read
Why Your Advice Works for Everyone But You
You can see a friend's situation clearly in minutes. Your own, not so much. Why distance makes us wiser, and how to borrow a little of it.
09/4 October·6 min read
Why You Cannot Imagine Feeling Better
At your lowest, feeling better can seem impossible. On a calm day, the hard moments look easy. Why both happen, and what actually helps.
10/23 September·7 min read
Why the Waiting Is the Worst Part
11/22 September·7 min read
Why Unfinished Things Keep You Awake
12/21 September·7 min read
Stressed Is Not a Feeling
13/7 September·7 min read
Why Good Things Do Not Stay With You
The criticism from three years ago is still available in full detail. The compliment from Tuesday is already gone. That asymmetry is built in, and it is more workable than it looks.
14/31 August·8 min read
How to Choose a Counsellor in Melbourne (And What to Ask First)
The titles are confusing, the directories all look the same, and the thing that predicts whether therapy works is not the one most people are comparing. Here is what actually matters.
15/30 August·7 min read
Numbness Is Not the Absence of Feeling
Feeling nothing is not a gap where emotion should be. It is usually something your system is doing on purpose, and understanding why changes what actually helps.
16/28 August·7 min read
Shame and Guilt Are Not the Same Thing
17/22 August·8 min read
What Therapy Actually Changes (And What It Does Not)
18/19 August·6 min read
The Difference Between Coping and Healing
19/15 August·6 min read
Why Vulnerability Feels Like a Threat
Opening up is not inherently safe, and your body knows it. The question is not how to override that response, but what it would take to shift the underlying calculation.
20/12 August·7 min read
The Part of You That Doesn't Want to Get Better
Wanting to change and not changing are not opposites. There is often a part that has good reasons for staying exactly where it is, and ignoring it rarely helps.
21/29 July·7 min read
Ego-Syntonic: The Word for a Problem That Feels Like Personality
The habits you most want to change are often the ones you would defend in an argument. There is a term for that, and it is not in any diagnostic manual.
22/28 July·6 min read
What If You Were Never Disconnected From Your Body?
23/27 July·8 min read
What Counselling Actually Costs in Melbourne, and What Medicare Does Not Cover
24/20 June·7 min read
You Were Raised to Manage Other People's Emotions
25/18 June·6 min read
The Real Reason You Feel Anxious on a Good Day
You had a good day. Nothing went wrong. You felt almost okay for a while. And then, without warning, the anxiety came back. This is not a mystery. It is your nervous system doing something entirely predictable.
26/17 June·5 min read
Seven Signs It Might Be Time to Talk to Someone
Most people wait far longer than they need to. If any of these feel familiar, counselling could genuinely help. And the first step is smaller than you think.
27/15 June·6 min read
You're Not Lazy. You're in Freeze.
Millions of people are walking around in a state their nervous system calls survival, while the world calls it laziness. Functional freeze is one of the most misunderstood responses in mental health. Here is what is actually happening.
28/11 June·6 min read
The Quiet Grief Nobody Talks About
29/8 June·6 min read
Why Rest Does Not Feel Restful
30/4 June·7 min read
Why Telling Someone How You Feel Is So Hard
31/28 May·6 min read
Your Overthinking Is Not a Problem With Your Mind
Overthinking is not a habit or a personality trait. It is what a nervous system does when it does not feel safe enough to stop scanning. Understanding that changes what you can actually do about it.
15 entries
32/21 July·5 min read
The Thing About Wanting to Change
Most people who want to change spend more energy judging themselves for not changing than actually changing. The research on behaviour change shows something more useful.
33/7 July·4 min read
Healing Is Not Linear
You had a good week. Then a bad one. Then you wondered whether any of it was working. This is not regression. It is how recovery actually works.
34/23 June·5 min read
The Cost of Never Asking for Help
Self-sufficiency is often worn as a point of pride. But the person who never asks for help is not strong. They are carrying everything alone, and the body eventually makes that cost very clear.
35/9 June·5 min read
What Your Anger Is Actually Trying to Tell You
36/26 May·4 min read
Why You Always Feel Like You Are Behind
37/12 May·4 min read
You Do Not Have to Earn Rest
38/28 April·4 min read
What Actually Happens When You Put Yourself First
If you have spent years prioritising everyone else, putting yourself first does not feel empowering. It feels wrong. This is one of the most important things to understand about the process.
39/14 April·4 min read
Why Sunday Nights Feel So Heavy
The week has not started yet. Nothing has gone wrong. And yet Sunday evening arrives with a familiar weight. Your nervous system has learned something about what Monday means.
40/31 March·5 min read
Your Body Keeps the Score: What That Actually Means
The phrase has become one of the most cited ideas in trauma work. But what does it actually mean in practice, and why does it matter for how you heal?
41/17 March·5 min read
Why the Same Argument Keeps Happening
42/3 March·5 min read
How to Actually Support Someone With Anxiety
43/17 February·4 min read
What Does Emotional Availability Actually Mean?
44/3 February·5 min read
Why You Keep Attracting the Same Kind of Person
If you keep ending up in relationships with the same dynamics, the same arguments, the same outcome, it is not a coincidence. It is a pattern, and patterns have a source.
45/20 January·4 min read
The Difference Between Loneliness and Being Alone
You can be surrounded by people and feel profoundly alone. You can be entirely by yourself and feel completely at ease. Loneliness is not about proximity.
46/6 January·5 min read
Five Things That Look Like Laziness But Are Not
Before you decide you are lazy, it is worth considering what else might be operating beneath the surface. Productivity culture has a way of misreading the nervous system.
23 entries
47/16 December·4 min read
Why Anxiety Is Often Worst in the Morning
If your anxiety peaks before the day has even started, there is a biological reason. It is not a sign of fragility. Your cortisol is doing something entirely predictable.
48/2 December·4 min read
The Myth of Closure
You have been waiting to feel closed about something. Maybe you are still waiting. Here is what closure actually is, and why the version most people are looking for does not exist.
49/18 November·5 min read
What No One Tells You About Starting Therapy
Most people spend months preparing to start therapy, worrying whether they are bad enough or whether they will know what to say. There is more useful information available.
50/4 November·5 min read
Why High Achievers Often Struggle the Most
51/21 October·5 min read
What Is Trauma? (And Do I Have It?)
52/7 October·7 min read
Counsellor, Psychologist or Psychiatrist: Which One Do You Need?
53/23 September·4 min read
What to Expect from Your First Counselling Session
Not knowing what to expect is one of the biggest reasons people delay seeking support. Here is an honest account of what a first session actually looks like.
54/9 September·5 min read
Burnout vs Depression: How to Tell the Difference
They can look similar from the outside, but burnout and depression are different experiences requiring different responses. Here is how to tell them apart.
55/26 August·5 min read
Understanding Anxiety: What Your Body Is Trying to Tell You
Anxiety is not a malfunction. It is your nervous system doing its job. Understanding what is happening physiologically can change your relationship with it entirely.
56/12 August·4 min read
Self Trust: How to Start Rebuilding It
57/29 July·6 min read
ACT: The Therapy That Asks You to Stop Fighting Your Thoughts
58/15 July·6 min read
What Is Nervous System Regulation and Why Does It Matter?
59/1 July·4 min read
Life Coaching vs Therapy: Which One Do You Actually Need?
The distinction matters. Coaching and therapy serve different purposes and work best at different moments. Here is a clear guide to help you choose.
60/17 June·5 min read
What Couples Counselling Actually Looks Like (And What It Can Change)
Many couples wait too long to seek help, or avoid it altogether because they are not sure what it involves. Here is an honest account of what happens in the room.
61/3 June·4 min read
Setting Boundaries Without the Guilt
Boundaries are not about closing people out. They are about knowing where you end and another person begins. Here is how to set them without the spiral of guilt that usually follows.
62/20 May·6 min read
Attachment Styles: Why Your Childhood Blueprint Still Runs Your Relationships
63/6 May·5 min read
The Grief That Has No Name: Understanding Ambiguous Loss
64/22 April·5 min read
Somatic Therapy: How the Body Holds and Heals Emotional Pain
65/8 April·4 min read
Why Life Transitions Feel So Hard (Even the Good Ones)
Transitions are not just about what changes on the outside. They require an internal shift that takes time, attention and often more support than we expect to give ourselves.
66/25 March·5 min read
The Inner Critic: What It Is and How to Stop Letting It Run Things
Most of us have a voice in our heads that is not particularly kind. Understanding what it is doing and where it came from changes how much power it has.
67/11 March·5 min read
Grief After a Relationship: Why Breakups Hit So Hard
The end of a significant relationship can produce grief as profound as any other loss. Understanding what is happening helps you move through it with more compassion for yourself.
68/26 February·4 min read
People-Pleasing Is Not a Personality Trait
69/12 February·5 min read
How Perfectionism Fuels Anxiety (And What to Do About It)
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